AttitudeHappiness

How not to take things seriously to keep relationship strong

take things seriously

Have you noticed what you sometimes suffer for taking things with an exacerbated seriousness? You are affected, giving thought to that failure of yours, which you consider inadmissible, or to that inappropriate comment of the other that leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth. So, never take things seriously. 

However, seriousness also has its advantages, right? Surely you have achieved many things throughout your life to show seriousness in your actions, relationships, and commitments.

It is precisely these rewards obtained that enhance your sense of duty and seriousness because you associate responsibility and competence.

Why people take things seriously?

take things seriously

“I am a serious person,” we say in a job interview or on a contact page when we want to show that we are trustworthy, that we are not afraid of work or commitment, that we can count on.

It is meaning of the term “serious” understood as formal and compliant is very tempting, especially if you tend to be a perfectionist, and you move a lot from the “I have to,” “should,” etc.

What I come to tell you today is that being serious/responsible is not at odds with being relaxed, happy and flexible. As you read it, you can be a committed person at the same time as someone relaxed, you can be professional at the same time as someone with a sense of humor, etc.

Do not be so serious: nothing is so decisive, irreversible and dramatic. However, taking everything with transcendence, rigidity, and drama, is a serious person, yes, of course, but is it productive? Is it effective? Is it healthy?

The truth is that no. It has already been shown that taking things to heart does not only correlate with stress, cardiovascular problems, and anxiety, but also makes us lose creativity, practical reasoning and satisfaction with the task.

  • What if I stop being serious and they do not take me seriously?
  • What if I’ve been serious all my life?
  • What if taking things more superficially makes me irresponsible?

If you ask yourself these questions, you still show a lot of resistance to losing control, and you are afraid of getting into chaos if you relax a bit.

Do not be afraid; it’s not about you becoming who you are not, or about making a radical change and going to take everything for fun.

take things seriously

How not to take things seriously?

Things are not white or black. Imagine seriousness as a feature that extends on a continuum that goes from 100 to 100, in which you can move according to circumstances and moments.

You do not have always to wear the same serious suit. There is an excessive seriousness that stops being healthy and happens to become a corset that makes you rigid, overprotective, obsessive and tense.

Depersonalize

Depersonalize

Stop seeing offenses and bad intentions in the behaviors of others. This does not mean you can not bother, get angry or disapprove of what others do or do not do.

You are free to show agreement or disagreement and issue your assessments. But do yourself the favor of not reading grievances constantly in the behaviors of others that you do not like or that do not match yours.

What the other does that you dislike does not have to be something that hurts or offends you, in fact, it does not have to be addressed to you with bad intention or to harm you.

It depersonalizes, it looks for other explanations, that no justifications, to the conducts of others that do not fit with your schemes, beliefs or values.

What the other does not always have to do with you, but responds to ways of understanding the other’s life, their beliefs, their socio-cultural patterns, habits, preferences, etc.

Have fun

Have fun, do not always be transcending

Not everything has to have a deep meaning, nor all conversations have to be intense, nor all logical behaviors, nor all choices have to have a practical and useful sense.

Leave a section in your life for the existence of the superficial, the enjoyable, the simply entertaining and superfluous, which is only intuitive (versus rational), which only pursues fun.

Leave a component of leisure, fun, and entertainment. You do not have to be always producing, nor investing your time at all times in obligations and profitable tasks.

Breathe, loosen, rest, smile and laugh more.

Incorporates a sense of humor

sense of humor

There is nothing better than humor to loosen the serious. You can start by seeing the comic side of things, including the unfortunate ones.

If my dog eats a 50 dollars bill, it is understood that the first seconds or minutes, not even a bit of grace, will see the matter.

But if you transcend that moment of seriousness, and you imagine how you are going to tell it when you see your friends, you will realize that you are going to smile, because you start imagining yourself looking through the excrement, saying “it’s my own!”.

And if you take it with humor, in any case, recover or not the ticket, you will have incorporated it as something you were able to laugh at despite the negative that it implied.

Tell the same fact a comedy version, your mind thanks you. Watch the parodies of the comedians: they are real facts taken to the absurd. We can all do that without going on television.

Be flexible

Be flexible

It means that you look at things from a non-deterministic angle. Nothing is so dramatic, irreversible and transcendent that it can not reverse its negative effect to any degree, and if not, learn from it, or have another opportunity.

A characteristic of extremely serious people is that they usually see problems or decisions in dichotomous terms, black or white, with which each choice becomes something transcendent and vital.

Start by contemplating the intermediate degrees of situations, that will make it easier for you not to take things to heart.

Ask yourself: is this so, so decisive, so, so important?

Surround yourself with fun and positive people

Surround yourself with fun and positive people

Do not underestimate this last proposal. Find those people around you who generate peace, positive energy, joy, etc.

You do not have to be intimate, or you have to create a group of zero for it. It is enough that you detect where they are and choose them to spend a few minutes.

You will feel it quickly in you, in your body, like when you see a movie laughing or playing sports. Go to them, give your dose of positive people.

Observe how they are not corseted, how they relax, how they laugh at themselves, their mistakes and adverse circumstances, making an obstacle an anecdote with which to entertain later.

Seriously, do not take things seriously. Do you take everything to heart?

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