There is one thing we can be worried about indefinitely: the future. As it is something that never comes, if you want it, you can make your life an eternal and terrifying prelude to the future. Some often find themselves worried about the future.
Something that opens up infinite possibilities, something uncertain, that causes anxiety, since you cannot have it tied and controlled. Your mind can play tricks on you and condemn you to devote maximum attention to something that has never been drawn in a definite way.
How to not be worried about the future?
Before you become paralyzed by this futuristic fear, I would like to invite you to explore what is behind this anguish that invades you:
1. Fear of the unknown
When you think of yourself in 10 years, what is the first thing that comes to mind? If in a matter of seconds, a feeling of restlessness has invaded you, even if you don’t know what exactly it is. You may be one of those who easily activates the unknown.
You do not like surprise or improvise or changes in plans. It is a reflection of rejection of everything you do not know, and that demands you to venture into the new and uncertain.
Behind lies an exacerbated need to have everything under control, to feel that one can only relax if you have absolute control and knowledge of all the factors involved.
- Don’t train so much in controlling, planning, or forecasting.
- Allow yourself to change plans, even if it costs you at the outset.
- Discover yourself by creatively improvising a solution to a problem that has arisen.
- Accept and normalize the concern about the new, include it as a normal emotion within the period of adaptation to the new circumstance.
- Try to be curious about new activities, new paths, new ways of doing things, new readings, new music, etc. Let it surprise you.
2. Fear of obstacles
What if I don’t like what’s next?
And if I don’t know how to deal with it?
What if it goes wrong?
What if I suffer?
What if problems arise?
And if I take time to see solutions?
The questions can become insistent and obsessive. You recognize yourself in it, right?
If you stop to observe it, these questions are a counterproductive attempt to prepare for adversity.
Many times, you get intoxicated from harmful images long before, suffering before, during, and after.
Others subject your body to a harmful emotional and physiological reaction to imagined scenarios that never come to life. Is there anything more useless?
- Make a list of all those times that something did not go as planned, and you ended up responding decisively.
Be aware of the skills, abilities, and all the intellectual and emotional resources you already have.
- Do not associate your peace of mind with being assured that everything will be fine, and there will be no obstacles. Trust that you will know how to surf them and face them.
- Choose to see yourself as someone who faces the difficulty, not as someone who associates happiness with ease.
3. Live without awareness in the present
See how you can chain some steps with others so automatically that you lose consciousness of being in the here and now. Professional demands, agendas, business calendars can always make you walk one foot ahead.
Detect how much time you spend to the detriment of the present. How many times are you thinking throughout the day about what you have to do next month? You are worrying today about what will come in 5 days. Move now to the endless possibilities of a next week while the instant of the present happens!
John Lennon once said that “life happens while we are making other plans.”
Do you want to live, or do you want to think?
Where do you want to live in reality or in the world of ideas?
Discover yourself traveling to the future and without punishing yourself. Become aware of it and give yourself the opportunity to redirect your focus to the only thing that is existing: the present. Practice sensory focus exercises, diaphragmatic breathing, or guided meditation. Any activity facilitates the anchor with the here and now and assist worried about the future.