Modern men are increasingly losing the burden of responsibility and tearing the fetters of life obligations. Iron knights without fear and reproach turn into playing boys, who did not hold in their hands anything heavier than a computer mouse. Sociologists do not see anything unusual in such gender warming. Just life became easier and more fun; a strong half of humanity relaxed and showed its true face – the eternal child. But women have long sounded the alarm. After all, the abandoned duties of the infantile man are shifted onto the shoulders of the weaker sex.
The expression: “The strength of a woman in her weakness” is no longer relevant today. Some infantile girls put up with their shortcomings and even learn to use them effectively in the household. And those who are not yet ready to step on a men’s watch are looking for answers to the questions: “How to recognize an infantile man at the initial stage of dating, in order to save himself from the plight of his companion?” Fortunately, this is not difficult.
What do psychologists say
In psychology, the term “infantilism” came from the French language. “Infant” is translated as “child” or “prince.” This is a 100% hit in the term, for infantile man behave like capricious children and heirs of the throne at the same time. In psychology, the concept of “infantilism” is characterized as an immature personality type, which with age does not disappear psycho-emotional features of a child.
Origins of the problem
The main reasons for the formation of infantile inclinations among men psychologists believe mistakes education. Parents, most often mothers, unwittingly, create a program that lays a complex of immaturity. Situations may be different, for example:
- The boy is brought up by an imperious woman. Such mothers suppress the masculine qualities inherent in the son. Ordering the child “not to indulge”, “silent”, “not to run,” they are completely annihilating his activity and freedom of choice. In the future, the young man is afraid to do something on his own, because in his subconscious mind is ruled by the statement: “The initiative is punishable.”
- Grows in an incomplete family without a father. Naturally, without seeing an example of a strong hand in front of him, the boy copies women’s behavior patterns. He just did not understand and did not recognize it as being courageous, providing for a family, protecting the weak?
- The only child in the family. The little prince is subjected to excessive care by relatives: he is led everywhere by the hand, taken to school almost to adulthood, flooded with toys and gifts, and he fulfills the slightest wishes. Who will grow out of such a spoiled boy? Finished sissy, who will look at his wife as a staff. After all, he was used to getting everything on a silver platter on the first click of a finger.
If the circumstances in which the man was brought up are familiar, it is already possible to make an assumption about his infantilism.
External signs of an infantile male
If there is no information about the boy’s family, just look at him carefully. A real expert can recognize an infantile person in a crowd without resorting to complex methods of psychoanalysis.
Take a look, for example, on a sleek bearded man – it looks brutal, but for some reason, a playful tail sticks out at the top of its head. Many infantile prefer teenage style in clothes. Pants tight or with a turn. Sorry, but such masculine words like “pants” will simply be out of place here.
In general, eternal teenagers long retain a youthful appearance. Lifestyle naturally affects the appearance: the more worries, the more severe the look and deeper wrinkles. You can immediately recognize that such a person is burdened with a burden of difficult problems. Infantile man are different: there are democratic sneakers on their feet, a minimum of wrinkles on their faces, and in their eyes an inexpressible ease of being.
Personality traits infantile
Of course, external signs are clearly not enough to recognize the immature type of male personality. Much more serious assessment can be made by examining the psychological portrait of such a guy. It is worth paying attention to the following character traits:
Mom loves everything. However, there is a completely different story, which psychologists often compare with the unbreakable umbilical cord. Infantile mom – the most. She is well versed in matters of her son’s personal life, work, money, and other important matters. This main person in his life does not lose value as he grows up. Sometimes even a girlfriend cannot compete with her. As a rule, reputable mothers themselves tend not to let go of an adult child from a distance. Therefore, these guys do not marry for a long time or remain bachelors for life.
An infantile man never feels guilty or remorseful. Wrong anyone, but not him. In the service, he is underestimated by a strict boss, and not-so-distant colleagues are building malicious intrigues. At home – grumpy neighbors bake for leaving trash in the stairwell. On the street, he dabbles in a car, not because of the fact that he crosses the street to a red light, but because he is driving a penny. The boy in his life runs away from worries: changes his girlfriends, classes, place of residence. That’s just to recognize in himself an infantile man and he is not able to change. It is much easier to shirk responsibility in any way.
Lack of stable earnings
A man who does not have a legal wife and children can easily afford to be content with temporary work, receiving only the necessary minimum. You can recognize such a guy by an unwillingness to work hard. He prefers casual earnings or sitting on the neck of the parents.
Infantile man does not like to answer for his words. Like a child, he can promise anything to receive a reward. And with the same childlike spontaneity, forget about this commitment tomorrow.
Inability to keep a personal budget
Money represents momentary value for such a guy. If he gets a certain amount of money, he can instantly spend everything on a sophisticated gadget or any whim.
The paradox is that society regards an adult male as fully responsible for their actions. The concept of “infantilism” is not formalized. Such people can play casinos, take loans with draconian interest, enter into transactions and sign property contracts.
These are the best clients of financial pyramids, unprincipled at the hands of the swindlers of all stripes who recognize them with a professional eye in two accounts. With an impulsive action, they are capable of destroying a career, making a big gap in the family budget. But anyone will be responsible for these ill-considered actions, just not an infantile guy. This non-growing kid has long been playing with toys in another sandbox.
Inability to care for loved ones
Moms raising unripe men should think who will take care of them in old age? After all, an infantile person is not able to solve even his own problems, and he cannot even take care of his parents or children.
Lack of independence
Surely you watched a picture when a mother chooses clothes for her adult son, goes to the doctor with him, draws up the documents. A good example of such behavior is given in the film “Where is Nofelet?” There, mom and dad went to see their son and girlfriend, taking with them army binoculars.
Rivalry with children
Such a guy can seriously compete with young brothers and sisters for the best piece of cake, a place at the window in the car or the attention of the mother. Children are children.
Among other features of an infantile man, one can mention egocentrism, capriciousness, daydreaming, impressionability, and neglect of public interests.
Inability to adequately evaluate their actions
Even if you read a lecture on infantilism to such a guy, he is unlikely to recognize in his typical representative. After all, it would mean to admit his guilt, but he is not capable of that.
It is impossible to recognize an infantile companion only on one of the above signs. For an accurate assessment, a combination of at least 2-3 of the factors listed is required
Infantile man in a relationship
You can not refuse such a guy in the presence of good qualities. He is childishly touching, sensitive, romantic. This attractive set is able to charm girls at the beginning of dating. Many husbands present their legal half with bouquets only for their birthday and March 8th. Infantile can fill her darling with flowers and gifts. It does not matter that he spent the last money on it or even borrowed it from his friends.
If he is in a good mood, he will cut out a million hearts and shower his beloved on Valentine’s Day. He will order a song on the radio, write a tear-sensitive rhyme, ride a bicycle, jump from a bungee. It is indisputable that in relations with such a romantic-minded boy you are provided with a fair share of drive and positive. Until that moment, as you recognize in him an infantile creation. For external exalted actions do not hide any of the real manhood.
He will not be able to grow out of short pants. Do not learn to make informed decisions. Do not distance from the powerful mother. Do not get rid of expensive hobbies or bad habits. It will not be wealthy. Do not stop the vagaries and tantrums. If your love is so strong that it does not recognize all the pleasures of life with the eternal boy, as they say, God help you. Nursing on health!