Every day we encounter a lot of people. Well, if such communication is a joy, you are interested in and have fun with the other person. But sometimes after a conversation, a feeling of worthlessness appears, the mood worsens, self-confidence melts. More recently, you were calm, and now you are struggling with irritation and anxiety. You want to run away from the interlocutor, hide, never to see or hear him again. If such sensations appeared after communication with a friend or relative, then it is possible that you are faced with a toxic person.
6 signs of a toxic person
Recognizing a toxic person is not so difficult; just listen to your feelings during intercourse. But these people have common features by which they are easy to “calculate” among their acquaintances:
1. Egoism. They constantly think only about themselves, communicate on topics interesting exclusively to them. The interlocutor’s feelings are not interesting to toxic people, they do not know how to sincerely sympathize and empathize. But others constantly have something to them. They do not know how and do not want to help others. They love to use people and their capabilities. They do not listen and do not hear others; they talk only about their problems. If they show interest, then in words, and not for long.
2. Bad mood, conflicts. To meet a toxic person, satisfied with life, is almost impossible. They are constantly dissatisfied with everything, and they love to show this discontent in order to arouse the sympathy of others and receive help from them. Often become the cause of scandals, conflicts, love to roll up tantrums. At the same time, they always consider themselves sufferers, since others are to blame for all troubles, but never – they themselves. They are always in the center of the drama, focused only on the negative. You will have to listen for hours about evil neighbors or despicable colleagues at work.
3. Rudeness. Toxic people are rather unceremonious. Always do only what they need. That you may be busy at the moment, they are not interested. They can come to visit without ringing or break into the office without knocking. Often behave arrogantly, aggressively, put pressure on others. All your requests will be ignored. They also like to blame for their behavior on others. They break down if they consider that a person is lower by some criteria, i.e. can just scream at the child, the attendants or bystanders.
4. Criticism and gossip. A toxic person will always find something to complain about. Such people criticize everyone all the time. Whatever others do, it is not right, not as it should be. In addition to the sea of criticism, they are ready to give unsolicited advice or start learning life. But not only are you being criticized. Shrill remarks may apply to common friends. They like to discuss others, spread rumors. And it doesn’t matter that today they “wash the bones” to neighbors or friends. Do not doubt that tomorrow something similar can be said about you. Very envious, even in small things.
5. I am always right. All people make mistakes, but a toxic person is not sure. He believes that he is right in any situation and does not take into account the opinions of other people. Agree with a toxic person will not work because he demands total submission from others. The last word is always his. He does not know how to admit his mistakes; he can easily go to insults.
6. Falsehood All of us sometimes have time, but a toxic person lies constantly, while he himself believes in his lies. It is difficult to understand where he has the truth, and where – fantasy. In addition, he is a sycophant, ready to flatter and curry favor if it suits him.
The right communication tactics
To build communication with toxic people is not so easy. If you have to do this, you will have to live in constant stress. Anger, guilt and shame, a sense of control, lack of energy – the consequences of such communication. You become vulnerable, you cannot fully relax and get enough sleep, constantly make the wrong decisions. As a result, you will suffer from headaches, heart problems, insomnia, etc.
If such a person appeared in your environment, try to reduce the time of communication with him or completely eliminate him from the list of friends. This is the easiest and most effective way. But sometimes relatives or colleagues can be toxic. Then there is no choice, you have to maintain relationships, even if they are formal. In this case, try to do it right:
• Feel free to set boundaries. At any time you can refuse a difficult topic for you, informing your interlocutor that you do not want to discuss it.
• Stay confident. Whoever lives in a toxic environment all his life, it can be difficult to do. But, whatever you say, remember that you, like other people, have the right to your opinion, feelings, and desires.
• Do not take his words personally. Everything that another person says is connected with his personal experiences and fears. This applies only to him, and to you is not relevant.
• Never tell about personal things. Your experiences and anxieties do not bother the interlocutor, but later he will be able to use this information against you. Toxic people are constantly looking for the weak points of others to manipulate and control.
• Keep it at a distance. It is not necessary to spend your strength and energy to explain something to a toxic person, to convince him, to influence him. You should not analyze his actions. It’s useless. Try to get out of this situation with the least loss. Being next to him, imagine that you are standing behind bulletproof glass, i.e. you are completely safe. Even if a person exudes poison, he does not reach you by breaking on the glass, so you are not in danger. This will help you keep calm and calm.
We figured out how to behave when meeting with a toxic person. Now let’s talk about what not to do. Do not blame yourself, if you cannot calmly communicate with someone, you feel uncomfortable, uncomfortable, you experience discomfort. Remember, this is not your fault. Try not to respond to his provocations. It is better to laugh it off or continue the conversation later when you calm down and come to your senses. Do not allow to manipulate yourself. You are an adult, you can make decisions yourself and you know what is best for you. Remember that you can not affect the behavior of another person, change it. He will not hear all your arguments. A toxic person will behave, no matter what you do. This needs to be realized and put up with the situation.
Toxic people become unknowingly. Most likely, this is how their personal psychological trauma is manifested. This needs to be understood and accepted. Try to protect yourself from toxic communication, but do not get angry at such people and condemn them, otherwise, there is a risk to replenish their ranks.