It sometimes happens that a child who is older by age is more active than anyone else and prefers not to do anything. To sleep until lunchtime, “stick” to TV shows or computer games, refuse to help around the house, throw in hobbies and hobbies, “move out” in school, do not go outside once again to chat with friends, and so on. Parents in such a situation are sounding the alarm and trying to think of how not to allow their son or daughter to finally slide into the abyss of neglect and apathy. In this article, we will try to understand what could be the causes of such a problem, and what methods to combat child laziness can be used.
Why is the child laziness and what to do in each specific situation?
The reasons that a child does not have the energy for activities outside of some necessary minimum can be quite a lot. Here are the most common ones (and the appropriate ways to beat children’s laziness):
To do something, you need to see some sense in it, understand why it is needed (even if the task itself is rather meaningless, but it matters in the context of some larger business). Surely you yourself are also very difficult to force yourself to do something that seems to you a waste of time. But adults at least have enough resources to force themselves to do an undesirable business, unlike children. The latter may simply not understand why to wash if you get dirty again tomorrow; Why to study better if you are not expelled from school with threes; Why go and communicate with someone, spending the effort on it, if you play the game on the computer much easier.
Therefore, it is very important to explain to the child why he should do something. Do not just tell him to remove the toys, because it’s necessary to tell that if they lie there, they can fall and break, someone may step on them, and in principle, moving around the apartment will be problematic. It is very important to issue such explanations in a benevolent tone, and not in the format of swearing or expressions in the spirit of “how can one not understand such simple things.” And if the child himself asks why he should perform this or that action – do not be lazy to find a good explanation.
As practice shows, not all parents/grandmothers/ grandfathers, who over-care for their children/grandchildren, are aware of this and are able to stop in time. Speech, in this case, is about the desire to do everything for the child: after all, washing the dishes, and folding things, and fastening the shirt, adults can much more quickly and skillfully than their son or daughter.
In principle, children tend to explore the world and strive for independence. They really want to try everything themselves, but if this enthusiasm is constantly crushed by the parent, “let me be better, or you will be hurt,” “I will do it, and then you will be busy for a long time” and the like, then with time it simply fades away. Why should a child try something if adults still deal with any problem themselves, and he, apparently, is not good enough for this?
Therefore, do not interfere with the child to test reality. Let him break something, spill it, make it far from the ideal, or take it too long – but he will wash the dishes himself, clean up his closet himself, clean the orange himself. And if, in addition to this, he receives praise from you, then the incentive to try and further will be even stronger.
It happens and such that children’s laziness appears simply because the child is boring trite. He does not like what he, for some reason, should do, and he does not see the point of forcing himself to engage in such activities.
Here you need to look at what exactly we are talking about. If this is schooling, you will have to explain to your son or daughter why this is still important and necessary and help him/her find some subjects that may be more interesting and “draw out” at least some interest in school occupations. If the child was enrolled in a drawing circle, and he wanted to play ice hockey, perhaps he should not be tortured by what he did not need. Choose additional activities only with your child, even if you would very much like him to become a pianist, a football player, or someone else in this spirit. He has the right to live and enjoy his life as he is closer.
Not all children are born to be “electric-bats,” who always have the energy and desire to do something. Typology of types of temperament: melancholic, phlegmatic, sanguine, choleric – based on the features of higher nervous activity, and these are the features that determine the child’s behavior pattern physiologically.
Children’s laziness may not be so much laziness as quickness and slowness of a melancholic or phlegmatic person. Holders of such temperament need tasks that require perseverance, concentration, and not maximum sociability and speed (and certainly not speed competitions). At the same time, it is precisely such tasks that are given to the worst for choleric and sanguine persons – it is better for them to set tasks for a speed of reaction, for active communication with other people, for frequent changes of activities.
If a child, for some reason, needs to cope with tasks that are not suitable for him as a temperament, then this may well be the cause of children’s laziness. No one wants to do what he does not do well, which makes him uncomfortable, in which he will not be able to achieve success. Therefore, find out what type of temperament your son or daughter (relevant tests can be easily found on the Internet) and select for him / her classes that are suitable for her. The same drawing can be interesting to melancholic, and team sports – for example, a sanguine person.
Fatigue and/or stress
Sometimes the cause of child laziness lies in the banal fatigue, or in a complex psychological state in principle. Perhaps the child is tired of intense study or from the need to attend a large number of circles, or from numerous domestic responsibilities (especially if he is required to look after younger brothers/sisters). And maybe he can not find a common language with classmates, or even with someone from the teachers. Maybe he is worried about the differences between mom and dad and the prospects for their divorce. Or perhaps he fell in love, and the object of his romantic feelings did not reciprocate him.
Yes, or it just seems to him that he is not stylishly dressed in comparison with his peers – believe me, children can have millions of reasons for experiences and sufferings that even don’t come to your mind, and which seem ridiculous to an adult. But for a child, they are really important, for him, it is a tragedy, a disaster regarding his short life. And if he spends all the resources on the relevant experiences, then the rest simply does not remain.
Therefore, it is very important to sensitively listen to the state of your child. Never ridicule what is essential for him, try to create an atmosphere in the family in which he can turn to you for help and support without fear. And then it will be much easier to get rid of the stress factor and, as a result, of child laziness.
Low self-esteem and fear of failure
The last common reason why a child is lazy is his lack of confidence due to low self-esteem. It is clear that water does not flow under a rolling stone, and one can achieve something only through trial and error, but sometimes the fear of failure turns out to be so strong that it literally paralyzes the desire to do something in principle.
To overcome this fear, again, it is very important to make your son/daughter feel your support. Try less to scold them for failures (instead, it is better to analyze the errors); explain that there is nothing wrong with failures and that you yourself have repeatedly passed through them; Make it clear that you love your child, regardless of success in any area.
Several common methods of dealing with child laziness
In conclusion, here are some more tips on how to rid the laziness of the child, which can be used regardless of the cause of this problem:
- Set the right example. Children at a subconscious level learn the behaviors that their parents demonstrate to them. And if you yourself regularly allow yourself to be lazy instead of doing something useful and necessary, then the child begins to feel that this is the norm, and that is exactly what you need to behave.
- Distribute responsibilities for justice. All family members should do household chores, and each of them should do what he does best, what he is better suited for. If monotonous rubbing of dust from shelves and drawers is difficult for your son/daughter, let someone else take care of this, and he, for example, will take out the garbage, or vacuum, or brew all the tea. Best of all, if the whole family will be cleaning at the same time, together. You can add to this music, or cook together a delicious cake as a reward.
- Keep track of the daily routine of the child and ensure that he has enough free time. Wanting to wean their child from childish laziness, many parents begin to literally shower him with tasks and activities, but this only causes even more rejection. A child of any age needs time to play, relax, to see friends – and this is no less important than the time allotted for study and extracurricular activities. It is also important that he gets enough sleep and observe the correct mode of the day.
- Try not to use labor as a means of punishment. If for each offense a child must wash the floor, go to the store, clean the room or cook buckwheat, then all these activities will have a negative emotional coloring for him. And he will no longer want to deal with them out of hand.
- Add game elements to ordinary household affairs. This is an especially good way to cope with laziness among younger children: you can use toys in your classes, invent fairy tales, and introduce competitive elements.
We hope that in all the above, you have found those ways to fight child laziness, which are most suitable for you and your son or daughter!