It seems that there is a problem or a question that just keeps coming up very often. Women who are feeling ignored and who simply do not know what to do about it. In the first place, the important thing is that we find out if this is a game or not.
Honestly and with great confidence I can tell you, believe it or not, that most men do not “play games” with you. Actually, it is difficult for them to act in such a Machiavellian way and with a bigger scene in their heads.
They do not think so to the future. Many do not even know how to set clear goals with a woman. And, luckily, there are very few men who do go through life making very specific plans to get the favors of a girl.
These few examples do so because they have a very particular addiction to the challenge and, more than the issue of conquest, they are excited by the issue of control and anticipation.
How to get her attention when she ignores you
And most men, on the other hand, want something (we already know what), and they want it as soon as possible. So that’s why they do not “play games.”
I do not want to say that it never happens. In fact, sometimes it happens, but it is not the norm. Most men do not put so much time and energy into a goal if they think they can achieve it in another way, and “playing games” involves a lot of work.
Already with the cards on the table, we are going to save all this speech from the mental games. If you are looking for the true list of all the reasons why a man may be ignoring you, then you have come to the right place.
Most men ignore women for a couple of reasons based on their relationship with them:
1.- You two are in a relationship and communication has been lost
He is tired of listening to you, and besides, he does not feel that you listen to him at all. Nor does he feel that he has anything else to say. You may even feel that saying anything will only cause more unnecessary fights.
He chooses to ignore you or remain silent despite the frustration or damage that passive aggressive play can cause because it is the way he has always faced things or does not know what else to do.
There is no simple answer or solution for this because the responsibility to communicate properly rests with both, and it is necessary that both accept that if their relationship can still be saved, that will need real work on both sides.
If there was a way to solve this problem that could be summarized in a simple sentence or even a paragraph, it would. But there is not. Although, if you feel that this is the reason why he is ignoring you, you can always tell him head on: they either seek help or aren’t willing to continue. In any case, if he is not going to cooperate, why do you want a relationship like that?
2.- They are not in a relationship, they just come out in a casual way
First of all, it would be good to find out if you think they have a relationship and for him, they only come out by chance. Because many times the whole mess can be rooted in this misunderstanding.
This case is a little more complicated. But I can say that it is not because they are ignoring you, but because he is simply living his life. He is probably seeing other people, and you are contacting him more than he is interested in answering.
Maybe you feel a bit saturated or depressed and think that if you answer every time you’re going to start thinking they have a more serious relationship. And let’s face it, maybe he’s right.
This leaves us with two sub reasons:
A) He is ignoring you because you get in touch much more often than he would like. You may not be giving him a good reason to respond. You are not motivated to respond because you are saturating it with messages, or you receive several a day from several different women.
B) You are not interested, ready, or willing to enter into a deep and meaningful relationship time and feel that answering you very often will make you think so.
In this case, he is already giving you all the time and attention he is willing to give you. It’s not that he does not have a good time with you, he’s simply not looking to go further.
Both, A and B, tend to be true when a woman is too needy, acts in a very desperate way to have a relationship, is too egotistical and thinks that the world revolves around her.
Or possibly have a lifestyle too intense and dramatic. Which causes him to avoid most contacts.
To deal with this problem, we must first find out if we are facing option A or option B.
If it is A, then we need to take a closer look at how, when and how often you are communicating with him. This could be a cyclical pattern.
When you meet a boy, maybe you get into a behavior dynamic in which you give too much importance and press for more. And believe me, that’s not going to work for you.
During the process or just after meeting a boy, sending messages or contacting him as little as possible is the best. Surely if you do this some guys will not respond either, but those guys, in any way, are not the ones you’re looking for.
These guys tend to get into the “relationship” mode very soon, in addition to taking the female role of the dynamic and leaving you with all the heavy work of the male role.
Men need to learn to miss their girl and to think about her or what she is doing or with whom she is doing all day long. They need to be left in suspense and want to know and get more. Our interactions need to be brief and powerful to keep them interested.
Also, they need a certain feeling that they are not getting everything they could get. I’m not saying that you immediately make them think they’re going to get everything and leave them with nothing, but you have to play around with this.
If at first you give them a little, but still their expectation is always a little higher than what they finally get, you generate a constant interest.
This dynamic does not necessarily have to be physical, but the truth is that it helps a lot. Use that in your favor to send occasional signals that tip the balance on your side.
Now that, if it’s B, then you need to find a way to objectively look at your life, how you live it, how much you love yourself, who you think you are and who you want to be. B stinks.
Regardless if you are the one that ignores or the one that is being ignored. Because basically there is no way that you get what you need from that relationship.
What I mean is that it really is not worth doing all that work. It affects many areas of your life and has side effects, such as getting away from truly good opportunities to have the relationship you are looking for.
I do not mean that your life revolves around going out with guys and having sex. Those things tend to resolve themselves naturally, you just have to put yourself in the right circumstances to meet the right men.
For example, one of my patients tried to solve her emotional problems by burying herself in the music she liked and in her passion for golf. As he did to escape the problem and not to solve it, he failed because that only prevented him from knowing other people in depth.
But these two same things, when he used them in a moment of greater appreciation for himself, helped him to succeed because he began to use those talents differently and to meet more men with similar tastes.
3.- Do not feel good enough or able to go out or be with you
Some men behave completely counterintuitively and the women they like the most ignore. Not because they are “playing mental games”, but because they genuinely do not want to be like the other guys who seem desperate for them.
Another possible reason why men ignore women they like is because they do not feel capable or valuable enough to be with them. Either they sabotage themselves or avoid them altogether to avoid the pain of possible rejection. They reject themselves in advance to avoid a bad time.
Even if you manage to start talking to a man like that, he will always keep a little distance or not answer for the same reason.
Maybe sometimes you feel with enough courage and on other occasions that you feel bad simply will not respond. This can be very confusing and very easy to misinterpret.
But there is always the possibility that it is not something that has to do with you, but because it does not consider that you really want to be with him and do not want to make false hopes.
So you know, there is always the possibility that you “ignore” for reasons that have nothing to do with you, if not with their profound lack of self-esteem. Unfortunately, this kind of guy is everywhere. Finding yourself with one like that is not as weird as you might think.
It could even be a person from whom you think something completely different and you are convinced that you are probably very lucky with women.
The fact is that, deep in this boy, he is constantly sabotaging himself because he can never admit, can not or does not want to raise his self-esteem enough to overcome all those insecurities.
Dealing with this problem and finding a solution is not easy. You can not make or force someone to change the things he does not like about himself.
My suggestions would be, first of all, not to treat him like a child. You do not want to end up loving him or acting like his mother just because he does not want to pursue what he wants.
This will only make him think that even if he ignores you, you are there and will never motivate him to change that attitude.
Second: do not restrain yourself from dating the same man. You can see others in the meantime. It is proven that people who have had experience dating more people end up having happier lasting relationships.
Third, he must understand from your actions that your happiness does not depend on him being able to get closer or away. You must realize that your place in the world is not only as valid as yours, but it is not a determining factor in your life either.
You should also feel that you respect him and that you will continue to do so unless he chooses to do something unethical such as “playing games” because men find it difficult to start relationships with women who do not feel that they admire them.
But you do not have to let your problems affect you negatively.
Never forget that this kind of guys will hardly change spontaneously and will stop ignoring you to suddenly behave differently. It’s the way it is and unless it changes, it’s not a good idea to spend emotional energy.
My absolutely honest feeling about this class of guys is that you can take the initiative, even sleep with him, but not expect anything more from the relationship or that he starts to do his part for things to move forward.
Or definitely take it out of your list of prospects and look for a man with more self-confidence immediately. Your time will thank you.
Again, I would like to reiterate:
Most kids do not “play games,” especially when they imply ignoring what they desperately need in their lives: women. Surely a couple of them, a very small number, they do it on purpose because they think it is the best way to despair to the extent of getting what they want with minimal effort.
But, most of the time, that a man ignores you or that you feel ignored by a man has to do with:
1) A very serious break in the communication of the couple
2) They are in two completely different emotional places and while you want a more serious relationship he just looks to hang out.
3) He is sabotaging himself because he does not feel good enough to go out with you.
And you already know how you should deal with each of these scenarios. Do not get carried away by the first impulses and think things with a cool head. Do not forget to share your experiences with us and send this article to a friend who also needs it.