If you are experiencing a divorce or a breakup, most likely, you are suffering. In these situations, pain and sadness are always present. This situation involves negative emotions, both towards our ex-partner and towards ourselves. We are constantly overwhelmed by feelings such as courage, it may direct which towards both guilt, resentment and even doubts, especially if it was us who broke with the relationship. Let’s find the 6 solutions on how to recover from breakup or divorce.
How to recover from breakup or divorce?
When we ask ourselves how to recover from a divorce or love breakup, we must remember it takes a certain amount of time and an active attitude, we must know we can not sit back and wait for the time to pass. that the pain disappears from one day to another, on its own. Our attitude and behavior are determining factors in our recovery.
However, given the difficulty of the situation and your own emotional situation, it is important that you do not take a perfectionist attitude, either to judge what you did not to judge how your current behavior must be each moment.
Remember that all human beings make mistakes and we will continue to commit them throughout life because we are fallible beings, but the important thing is to learn from them and correct or try not to repeat them again. Therefore, when you do not act as you would like or as you think you “should” have done, do not scold or attack, simply analyze what happened, why you acted as you did and what you can do next time-
Feeling guilty, scolding or demanding too much will not take you anywhere. It will only prevent you from acting properly and it will make you suffer. By analyzing what happened and what you are experiencing, you will be able to discover what you can learn from it.
What can you do?
Below we will see some suggestions that will help you get over it faster.
Stay as far as you can from your former partner
If there are no children involved, do not see or talk to her at all. This is so that you can more easily break the emotional bond and the dependence that unites them and because when you put enough distance and time you can see the person and the situation as they really are, with greater objectivity and with less possibility of wanting to recover a relationship that no longer works.
When you date again with other partners
Do not compare them with your former partner to see if they are better or worse. Forget about him or her and just ask yourself if the person you’re dating you like it or not, if you think it can give you what you want and need at this time and if they share the same values.
If all the people with whom there is the possibility of leaving or establishing a relationship find a defect or a reason to refuse to be with them and it has been a reasonable time to have developed at least part of the duel, ask yourself If you are not stopping the fear of suffering a new rejection. If so, it is important to be aware that not because it happened 1 or 2 times means that it will always happen to you. It’s worth it to risk it.
But on the other hand, do not look desperately for a relationship that will help you feel better if you have not worked a little on your loss and the emotions it caused you, as well as what you could have learned from it.
Look for activities that make you laugh
Watch funny movies, read jokes, visit friends that are funny, remember funny moments that you have lived or seen, etc. Laughter has wonderful effects both physically and emotionally.
Help people who have a problem or who are going through a bad time. The best way to forget a little about ourselves and our pain is to help other people. This also helps us to realize that our problems are not unique or so terrible, to improve our self-esteem and open ourselves emotionally to give and receive the affection that at that moment makes us so well.
When you think about your ex-partner
Remember the situations that make you feel bad or just to have negative thoughts like “I’m never going to find someone who really loves me”, “I’m not lucky in love”, etc., get to do something that entertains you and that does not allow you to keep thinking about it.
Remember that, although at first, it costs you work. You decide where you want to direct your thoughts. If you start doing something that requires all your attention or if you start singing, you will stop thinking about your ex-partner.
Avoid having as much as possible
Those things that were especially important to you two and that, therefore, are a constant reminder of him or her. Also, do not listen, by choice, to music that reminds you of your ex-partner or relationship.
Every time you feel good, even for a few minutes, write it down so that when you feel bad, you can check that you do not feel this way all the time. Usually, when we are sad, angry, hurt, etc., we believe that all the time we are suffering and this is not the case, we also have good times and the important thing is that the good ones last longer and the bad ones decrease.
Try to smile as much as you can
Start your day by smiling in the mirror. Put a big smile on your face, even if it is forced. Smile at the people you see or talk to.
Imagine the future you want and daydreams about it, but without your former partner appearing in it. Visualize the different aspects of your life, work, family, relationships, etc., just as you would like them to be and try to see them with as many details as possible. Do it frequently and then write your goals and the steps you need to take to achieve them. Remember that if we do not have clear goals, it is difficult for us to have enough motivation to achieve what we want. Recovering from a divorce or a breakup requires living and working the mourning for the loss we have lived.