There are even therapists who are specialized solely in anger and aggressiveness control, a fact that tells us that it is something that affects many people. How to control anger? This is precisely what patients ask themselves since it is often difficult to manage the aggressive or angry tendency without external help.
Today we deal with the problem of anger and aggressiveness, and we present some tips to control it.
What exactly is anger?
Anger is an emotion characterized by a rapid increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of norepinephrine and adrenaline in the blood. It is also common for the person experiencing anger to blush, sweat, tense their muscles, breathe faster, and see increased body energy.
Being an emotion related to the aggressive impulse, some experts point out that anger is the manifestation of the response that our brain emits to attack or flee from danger. On the other hand, the mental state of moments of anger makes us instinctive and reduces our ability to reason.
The Causes Of Anger
Anger can arise as a consequence of a state of insecurity, envy, fear, etc. Anger can also appear when we are unable to face a specific situation, being able to hurt or bother us the way the people around us act.
In summary, anger or aggressiveness usually appear in situations that we perceive as threatening. Therefore, anger is based on feelings such as fear, fear, frustration, or even tiredness.
When we feel frustrated with something, we can react in various ways. In the case at hand, one of the possible reactions to frustration is anger. Aggression, for its part, is the outward manifestation of the anger we feel.
Anger automatically appears in the face of some situations that hinder us from achieving goals or objectives. The emotions we feel do not occur without reason, but each one has a specific function. In the case of anger, the brain causes this state to prepare us to make a superior effort to overcome the difficulty that has been presented to us.
How to control anger? Some tips to handle it
Becoming aware of the causes that lead us to a state of anger is a great step towards good management of our anger. Learning to control anger involves learning to rationalize some irrational emotions and impulses and relativize the reactions that some events in life produce in us.
Otherwise, aggressiveness and anger can lead us to a permanent state of alert that can generate bad personal experiences. Therefore, one of the key factors in anger management is self-control, but it is also worth noting the following dynamics in order to develop anger prevention:
Do Not Accumulate Anger But Manage It Properly
When something unfair happens and we don’t react, we accumulate anger and anger. Sooner or later, all this anger that we are keeping will explode and may lead to an episode of verbal and/or physical violence.
Therefore, it is important to face problems with assertiveness and control, so as not to let the ball of anger grow at times.
It must also be taken into account that anger can be channeled, and not necessarily through behavior patterns associated with aggressiveness. For example, the state of tension caused by anger can be a motivating element to carry out creative activities and artistic expression.
Avoid The Winner/Loser Mentality
On many occasions, we get angry as a reaction to the frustration of not having achieved some objectives that we set for ourselves, or when something has not turned out as we expected. In these cases, empathy is the distinctive feature among those who know how to manage frustration, control anger, and accept setbacks with sportsmanship. We must avoid considering interpersonal relationships as a game in which you win or lose.
Reflect On The Causes And Consequences Of Our Irascibility
Thinking about it and analyzing whether our emotional reaction is really justified can help us. Many times we don’t think about why we erupt into a fit of anger, for example when we are driving a car and we instantly react by insulting or making gestures to other drivers when they do something wrong.
At that moment it would be vital to meditate on why we react in this way: have you thought about the possible consequences of having an episode of rage while you are driving? Seen this way, perhaps it is worth taking these situations in another way.
One of the most effective ways to enhance self-awareness and learn about how angry feelings often arise in us is to keep an emotion journal. That is to say, taking notes about the experiences that have made us feel more intensely throughout the day, briefly explaining what we were doing, where, what has crossed our minds, and what we have done in response to it.
Get Enough Rest
When we are physically or mentally exhausted, our angry reactions and aggressive impulses are more frequent and we have fewer tools to manage them. For this reason, it is necessary to rest and sleep for the necessary hours: both quantitatively (sleep at least 8 hours) and qualitatively (rest well).
Also, there are various times of the day when we are most vulnerable to outbursts of anger, and that varies from person to person. We are able to control anger when we are rested because we can better analyze situations.
Relaxation, Meditation, Self-Control…
Relaxation is the best way to prevent angry outbursts. There are different ways to relax: practicing sports, yoga, meditation, Mindfulness, taking a hot water bath, or any method that happens to distract the mind and lead us to a state of positivity.
In fact, in the specific moments when we detect that we may have an angry reaction, it is a good idea to try to breathe deeply and slowly for at least twenty seconds: this will detoxify our body from the negativity and irascibility that we feel.
Avoid Irritating Situations And People
We must avoid finding ourselves in situations that we know can increase our anger or lead us into a negative state. It is also likely that you know certain people who particularly irritate you (the dreaded toxic people ).
As far as possible, we must try to avoid contexts in which we know we can explode, and as for the people who irritate us, sometimes it will be impossible not to have any contact (bosses, a specific family member), therefore, as far as possible, you should try to talk with that person so that the interactions are not so irritating.
Therapy With A Psychologist
The help of a professional and accredited psychologist can decisively help to manage this type of emotional reaction, especially when it has reached a point where aggressive behavior derived from poor anger control is frequent.
Psychological therapy for these cases is intended to modify attitudes that generate angry situations and allow cognitive restructuring to be achieved so that the patient can manage and control their anger. Some emotional control techniques are also used to control anger and thus manage aggression.
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