It is necessary to know how to talk about sex in a new relationship. Sex can be talked about, in addition to practicing. The communication of the couple in this area can be a factor of protection against crises, and enhance confidence and intimacy. Many misunderstandings and dissatisfactions in the sexual domain are derived from a deficient exchange of information in the field of intimate relationships. Behind, several reasons hide.
Ideological: taboos, prejudices or sociocultural beliefs that disapprove of explicitly speaking about sex.
Psychological: take for granted that the other knows in detail our tastes or preferences; modesty and inhibition to talk about one’s sexuality; fear that the couple will not fit sexual criticism, etc.
How to talk about sex in a new relationship
Some couples do not know how to approach this issue, and they wait, almost crossing their fingers, to have their sexual relations improve on their own, postponing the time to sit down and whisper about the matter.
How to speak?
Undoubtedly, if you are one of the most reticent or timid, the easiest way to start a conversation where sexual matters are explored is talking about sex in general (“I believe that women … we men …” ), without specifying Or customize, as naturally as possible. Then, gradually, you can go on specifying your tastes.
It is advisable that you speak in the first person: “what I like is …”, “I would like to experiment,” “I love it when this happens,” etc. , is usually better received than “what I can not stand is that you …”. It is essential that you express yourself in positive terms, that is, comment more on what you like, and not so much what you dislike, so that your partner does not feel attacked or frustrated and ends the conversation.
To avoid misunderstandings and susceptibilities at the beginning call things by their name (sex, have sex, make love). The vulgar words or nicknames (fuck, stick, take) are not always well received, overturning discomfort in the environment. However, when there is an intimate and trusting climate, you can create your code and terminology to talk about sex, winning in complicity and disinhibition.
Express wishes and sexual fantasies is a good way to know the tastes of your partner directly in a context of the sensual game, without having to guess or take their wishes for granted.
When to talk?
Everything has its moment, and choosing the most appropriate is to guarantee success. The idea is that you look for an intimate occasion to be able to maintain a relaxed conversation without distractors (children, friends or television), facilitating freedom of expression.
If what you are after is to be able to explain your wishes and make some suggestions for improvement, it is advisable to look for a neutral moment (apart from the sexual encounter) and a place different from the one where you have relationships. Unless you experience something annoying or unpleasant, criticizing your partner’s behavior during sexual interaction can harm more than build.
Although it is a matter of taste, talking too much during the meeting can cause anger, distraction, cooling, etc. During the sexual intercourse, you can use non-verbal language: sensual looks, gestures, take your partner’s hand and guide it to the preferred areas, etc.
Moreover, giving feedback to the other of what you are feeling, can increase the cooperation between the two, as a component of sexual pleasure is knowing that your partner is satisfied and enjoying.
