Three steps to forget an impossible love

How to forget an impossible love is something that many people ask themselves. In real life, unlike romantic movies, you cannot always break down all obstacles and make love prevail.

Sometimes there are impossible loves that do not produce satisfaction, but they equitation in the deepest of the heart and cause much damage. In those cases, it is best to accept reality and learn to forget that person. But forgetting someone we love, although that love hurts is not an easy task.

Unrequited love

impossible love

On one occasion someone said that there are no impossible loves, but cowardly lovers. In fact, many people stop fighting for a love due to obstacles that can actually be overcome. Such as social differences, geographical distance or even the difference in age.

However, there are loves for which it is not worth fighting, this happens when there is no reciprocity, what we know as an unrequited love. As when one of the people does not feel the same for the other, already has a partner or has a different sexual orientation. In those cases, holding on to that illusion means hurting yourself.

Love is a matter of two and we cannot demand the other to love us, so when we fall in love with a person who cannot or does not want to reciprocate. It becomes a suicidal mission.

Why do we insist on an impossible love?

The impossible loves are typical of the adolescent stage, the student who falls in love with the teacher is a classic example. However, as we mature these loves are left behind. And the object of our desire begins to be a person more similar to us. Who shares our tastes and interests.

However, there are those who immerse themselves in a loop of impossible relationships that never come to fruition. Let’s see some of the causes why we obsess with someone that does not belong to us:

In some cases the person is not really looking for a stable relationship, but may be hiding a fear of commitment. In practice, that impossible love is a trick to stay away from real relationships and the risks they entail.

People with low self-esteem and masochistic tendencies on an emotional level may have the unconscious idea that they do not deserve to have a healthy and stable relationship. And embark on impossible relationships.

How to forget someone

Other times we engage in an impossible love because we idealize it. We believe that if that person loved us our life would be better or more complete. In reality, we do not fall in love with the person. Because in most cases we do not know enough about it. But rather with the idyllic image we have formed, we fall in love with the person we would like it to be.

In other cases we are simply attracted to something that has a taste forbidden, such as being the lover of another person who already has a partner. Therefore, that love becomes a challenge, a challenge. In fact. If the person begins to really care about us and love materializes into something real. It is not strange that the relationship automatically loses its charm. Other times, when our self-esteem is conditioned to achievement, getting the challenge of someone leaving their partner for us is proof that we are valuable.

Why is it so difficult to forget an impossible love?

Almost always, when a couple’s relationship comes to an end, it is because it has gone through a series of phases that have led to disenchantment. Therefore, although the break is usually painful, sooner or later we manage to turn the page. However, in impossible loves disappointment does not come, we remain permanently excited. Then forgetting is leaving behind a dream.

However, living tied to an unrequited love involves locking up our emotional life. When we fill ourselves with illusions that do not materialize, not only do we hurt ourselves, but we prevent ourselves from finding a person who can really satisfy our expectations. Betting on an impossible love is like mortgaging our emotions; it is like cultivating without the possibility of seeing the fruits. Therefore, in the long term, this type of love causes great frustration.

Is there a predisposition to get involved in impossible relationships?

People with low self-esteem can be victims of this problem because, deep down, they believe that they do not deserve a real relationship so they look at people who can not correspond to them.

People who have been educated into believing that they are worthless are also more likely to fall into a mechanism of self-sabotage. Even if they are adults, they still believe that they do not deserve to get the good things in life, as a couple that loves and supports them, so they focus on impossible relationships and thus confirm the image they have of themselves.

The basic problem is usually an emotional monopoly. That is, when a person has grown up marked by a negative emotion. Such as anguish or the feeling of rejection, will have the tendency to get involved in situations that generate that emotion. Therefore, an impossible love allows them to perpetuate the emotions they experienced in their childhood. And stay within a self-destructive circle, which is the only one they know.

How to forget an impossible love?

If you have fallen into the networks of an impossible love and it is not the first time it happens to you. Start by looking inside yourself and find the causes that lead you again and again along the same path. Ask yourself why you fall in love with unreachable people. You may discover that you are afraid of compromise. That you are not ready to face a romantic relationship or that you are repeating emotional experiences that come from your childhood.

There are those who “enjoy” this idyllic love because they feel relatively comfortable in the comfort zone they have created. And they are terrified by the prospect of starting a real relationship. In which they have to open themselves emotionally to another person.

Whatever the cause, be honest with yourself, perhaps at this point you will be helped by a professional psychologist. As it will give you an objective perspective and help you to know yourself better.

How to forget someone in three steps

If you need to know how to forget someone because you know it is an impossible love, follow these three steps:

E l first step is to take a firm decision to do so. This, although it may seem like a truism, can be very difficult. Since many times we are reluctant to forget a person or do what is necessary for it. How to avoid contact for a while. Because we cling to the romantic idea that, how In the movies, a miracle will happen and we will achieve happiness with that person and, on the other hand. It is always difficult to separate from the beloved person or to get the idea that our love is impossible.

To make this decision it is important that you be realistic and think about your happiness. If staying in love with that person hurts you, maybe it’s time to turn the page.

The second step is to feel good about yourself. If you do not feel comfortable with yourself. If you do not love yourself enough. Then you are not ready to start a healthy relationship. Do not forget that internal conflicts are the most common cause of relationship problems.

It is also convenient to reflect on the ideals that you have created. Are you in love with a real person. Or with an idyllic image? To what extent do you know that person? Do you know their defects and manias? You may be surprised to discover that you really know very little about that person and that you are in love with the ideal you have created in your mind.

Finally, the third step to forget someone is to open up to new experiences. It is not that you apply the proverb  one nail takes out the other. But you must be aware that when you are obsessed with a love. You cannot see what is happening around you. You close yourself to others and you cannot live . Obsessing is not being in love, even if you believe it. Perhaps the person who will make you happy is right in front of your nose. And you cannot see it because you are looking in the wrong direction.

And you? Have you ever experienced some impossible love? Are you living an impossible relationship now? Do you need to forget someone and you cannot? If you want to stop obsessing over a person.

Roger Walker

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