Being a calm, patient parent is NOT easy and any help and support you can get to enable you to achieve that goal is essential. When you are raising a child with additional needs, whether mental or physical you will need extra help, support and training. Learning coping strategies for yourself and your child will enable you to understand and support them in a different way. Having the benefit of attending a Challenging behaviour course or two, run by a professional company such as http://www.tidaltraining.co.uk/learning-disability-training/challenging-behaviour-training-breakaway-techniques will really show you how different techniques can help you and your child.
Keeping calm, not raising your voice, keeping instructions clear and precise, not getting involved in shouting battles, and reassuring your child that they are loved and cared for. These are all important daily goals as is making sure they are given some quiet times, and a comfortable reflection area for them to go to if they start to feel overwhelmed. Teaching your child to be respectful, listen and make good choices for themselves, praising the good behaviour and not dwelling on the negatives are all excellent ideas and can make a huge difference to your daily lives.
Remember that your child is carrying a heavy burden and struggles every day to understand why they feel the way they do. Don’t take negative behaviour from them as a personal attack on you, they are anxious, scared and frustrated, try to reassure them and remain positive.