How to stop complaining so much all the time

If you are reading me, in some way, you are interested in diminishing this harmful habit in your life, or maybe you are thinking about what you could do to make that person, whom you love so much. Stop complaining once and for all. Here, we will advise you how to stop complaining so much. 

In the second case, be careful! Because concentrating so much on the complaint of a third party is an indirect way to recreate your own complaint. It is not a tongue twister or a trap, it is just a warning to get rid of that weight, and you send the article directly to whoever you think may be useful. Jack Ma said:

How to stop complaining so much

How to stop complaining so much

It is important to note that emotional pain or negative emotions have to be expressed, released and shared. In fact, the inhibition or emotional repression can be as harmful to the body and mind as the excess of repetitive and unproductive complaints, so it is not better to shut up what annoys or hurts you.

The complaints can become somewhat toxic, as they end up releasing the hormone of stress (cortisol), which is directly related to mood and cardiovascular disorders. It is this type of unproductive, repetitive and intense complaint, which interests, and much, learn to manage and regulate as soon as possible.

Train yourself to detect it at the beginning

Train yourself

The sooner you realize that you have just hooked up to the sterile lament, the sooner you will be able to leave this circuit bound for nowhere.

Maybe you’ve been so used to doing it for so long, that it has become a reflex action for you, that you have to de-automatize.

Quiet, just as you programmed yourself, you can deprogram yourself. The key is to identify the first step of the complaining sequence.

Ask for help, if necessary, from someone who knows you well and with whom you have confidence. Between the two of you, you can make a list of situations that usually work as activating stimuli for your complaints.

See if you do more when things do not go as you expected, if it is when you make physical or mental efforts if it is when you are sleepy or hungry if it is when others fail or circumstances frustrate you, etc.

Make the complaint a character to parody

Make the complaint

Assign your complaint a name to identify with a dramatic character. When I recognize myself in this complaining record, I usually think: ” There’s my Scarlett O’Hara.”

One of my patients remembered that she decided to call her toxic complaint “Oh, poor me”. No matter what name you put, the important thing is to see how this exercise helps you to distance yourself from the complaint and see it with a sense of humor

“Complaints are already here” or “Lagrimillas” you can think, and with this, you can be more aware that this type of complaints reflect distorted thoughts that, in any case, completely define you, since what you think is not It is what you are, nor what is necessary.

Listen to it, but consider it a no-brainer


And if you are one of those who finds it difficult to joke about their own complaint, it’s okay, take it seriously, if you want. Then, be aware of the obviousness that it contains.

Obviousness Dícese of something superfluous, clear, evident, that does not contribute information.

Finding this quality in your complaints can be a great help to overcome them, especially when they have already come with the same message a few times.

Listen to your complaint, and then contemplate it from this perspective. It comes to point out a difficulty, a frustration, an injustice, something negative so, so obvious that you do not want to spend much more time, because it does not provide much relevant information or resolution.

Do not try to eliminate it, just zoom in

Do not try to eliminate

As we mentioned earlier, it is not about you suppressing the complaint, but rather about treating it differently. Do not punish yourself for surprising yourself by complaining when you proposed never to do it again. It is normal, it is a habit established in you probably for a long time, and it will not disappear overnight.

So when it enters your mind, leave it. A complaint is a selective focus of something negative, but if you could zoom in on the photo, you would notice that in the scene, in addition to what it points to, there are many more positive elements that deserve your attention.

Turn it over to the corresponding window

If you look closely, the complaint is often burdensome, among other things, because it expresses a problem without a hint of proposals for improvement or solution.

Put obstacles without suggesting how to solve them, it takes away energy and is totally useless. Therefore, dear complaint, if you have to come to my mind, I hope you do something, with some positive function, to generate some change in my life; otherwise, I will hear you, but I will not listen to you.

This is the deal you can make with yourself: to each complaint, a concrete action proposal that promotes change, to some degree at least.

Kendrick Brown

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