Fear is an emotion that produces an intense unpleasant sensation caused by the perception that we have of real danger in the present or by a dangerous situation that we imagine that may happen to us in the future or by the memory of a dangerous situation we live in. last. In this article, I will explain how to overcome the fear of rejection, work, failure, change, elevators, losing the couple and talking in public.
How to overcome fear
Everyone is afraid. Fear is normal and can be very useful on many occasions. For example, thanks to fear we usually avoid walking on the edge of a cliff because we know that we can fall and die.
However, many of the reactions we have when we experience fear can end up hurting us. For example, when we stop pursuing a dream because of the fear of failure or when we move away from a person we like because of the fear of rejection.
How to overcome fear of rejection
Imagine that you like a person very much but you have not yet approached her for fear of being rejected. To overcome the fear of rejection, the first thing you have to do is accept that there really is a possibility that you will be rejected and then expose yourself to that situation that you fear despite the fear you feel.
But before exposing yourself to that feared situation, visualize yourself in it succeeding. Breathe deeply 3 times and begin to visualize yourself in that situation when you are calm in a comfortable position, for example, sitting or lying down. Visualize with great detail, how you approach the person you like, feeling full confidence in yourself and how you engage in a conversation that awakens that person’s interest in you.
Imagine how that person smiles at you and enjoys talking with you while you feel comfortable at your side. Use your imagination to add many more details to this visualization until you get to experience the confidence you need to take action.
And whatever happens, remember that you have to accept that not all the situations that affect you in your life are under your control because they also depend on the decisions made by other people. What can come under your control is how you react to those situations that make you feel afraid.
In addition, it will always be better to reject that person you like to stay with the doubt if you could really have a wonderful relationship with her.
How to overcome fear of work
The first thing you have to do is accept that you really are afraid to go to work. The second thing you have to do is ask yourself what specific job situations you are afraid to face. Once you have prepared a list of all the dreaded work situations, create a card with instructions for each of them.
On each card, you will write what you should say before, during and after facing the dreaded job situation. When preparing each card, keep in mind the possible altercations that you may have with other co-workers and what possible answers you could give them to adequately resolve the situation.
Now, order the dreaded work situations from less to more difficult coping depending on the intensity of the fear you feel when thinking about each of those specific situations. The next step will be to apply some relaxation technique before going to work to reduce anticipatory anxiety.
You can learn one of these techniques in my article how to control anxiety. After applying the relaxation technique, go to work and start, as far as possible, to face those specific situations that give you less fear so that the possible resolution success of them leads you to trust that you can successfully cope the most feared work situations.
For example, imagine that you drag two different conflicts with 2 people from your work. The ideal is that you begin to solve the conflict you have with the person who is least afraid of you. And every time you successfully face a dreaded work situation, reward yourself with something you like.
And if you can not successfully resolve a certain work situation, mentally review your performance and modify the corresponding card with new instructions that you think will solve it the next time you face it.
Ultimately, you can always abandon your current job if the work situation becomes untenable for you. It is also important that you accept the possibility that your boss can fire you tomorrow. Once you really accept this fear, it will be easier for you to continue working without attachments every day that you remain in that job.
In addition, accepting this possibility, you will see more clearly the convenience of finding other sources of additional income that allow you not to depend exclusively on the payroll of your current job to be able to make ends meet.
How to overcome fear of failure
Many times, fear is a sign that tells us that we are facing something that is really valuable to us. Imagine that you feel fear because you do not know if that business that you are passionate about and that you want to start developing to provide an excellent service to others will work.
The first thing you have to do is recognize that you really feel afraid of failing and losing part of your capital in that business but do not interpret it as a negative signal and move on with your project even though you are experiencing fear.
To diminish that fear, study well the market niche of your business learning from the experience of others who have already been successful with a business similar to yours in that same niche market.
You can even offer to work with them for a while without charging money in exchange for information on how to negotiate successfully with the most prominent providers in the sector or how to attract and retain new customers.
There is no perfect time in the future to start getting what you want now. So take your first step towards what you want despite experiencing fear.
The more times you accept the fear you feel every time you think about the possibility of failing something that is important to you, with less force you will experience the next few times you think about it as long as you continue taking the necessary steps to get what you want.
Unfortunately, many people do not try to get what they really want because of the fear of failure but not trying it is already a failure. Trying gives you experience and although the desired result is not immediate, it can only come if you keep trying.
Remember your past achievements to counteract the fear of failure that you experience with your present challenges. The more failures you accumulate trying to reach your goal, the sooner the results will come if you keep trying again and again. And remember that you will always have relapses in which you will again experience fear on your way to success.
So I recommend that you take these relapses as a new opportunity to face again effectively your fears and continue moving towards your goal.
How to overcome fear of change
If you are afraid to suddenly make a major change in your life, start making small changes in your day to day that facilitate that important change. For example, imagine that you want to go to live in a country that you do not know anything about because you have been told that there are more chances of finding a job there.
Before you go to live in that country, you can start by forming a friendship through social networks with a person who lives there to teach you about the customs of the place.
These customs can be incorporated little by little in your day to day before leaving to live there. For example, you can get up and go to bed at the hours you usually do in that country, you can start preparing your most typical recipes or you can learn their most common expressions.
How to overcome fear of elevators
To overcome the fear of elevators, you have to expose yourself to them gradually. For that, make an orderly list of the actions that you will perform to expose yourself, placing the easiest actions to perform at the beginning and the most difficult at the end.
Successfully carrying out the simplest actions will help you to trust that you can also perform the following more difficult ones. Here is an example of the actions you can take to gradually expose yourself to elevators.
- First stay 3 seconds in an elevator accompanied by someone you trust.
- Exit the elevator, rest a few moments and go back into it with your companion to stay now 6 seconds.
- Now, get out of the elevator again, rest a few moments and go back into it with your companion to go up only 1 floor.
- You leave the elevator again, rest a few moments and then go back inside with your companion to go up 2 floors.
You leave the elevator, you rest a few moments and now you go up two floors alone while your companion waits for you in the destination floor.
And following this example, you can now perform new, more difficult actions to continue exposing yourself gradually to your fear of elevators. I recommend that you do this gradual exposure for at least 1 hour a day until you overcome your fear. You can also go to a good psychologist to help you make a personalized plan of gradual exposure to the elevators.
How to overcome fear of losing love
To overcome the fear of losing someone you love, the first thing you have to do is accept that there really is a possibility that you may abandon you.
Accept the possibility that your partner may leave you someday without a reason that you consider fair, even if you are the kindest person on planet Earth.
Once you have really accepted this fear, you can continue enjoying without attachments a good relationship with her. Loving her truly is the only thing you can do to increase the likelihood that your partner wants to continue by your side. You can also share this fear with people you trust because it can help you weaken it.
If the other people are sincere, they will explain to you that they have also felt it on occasion and this will help you to relax when you see it as something normal. Also, it is possible that some of those people want to share with you how to overcome fear that you now feel.