Guilt is the emotion of self-destruction associated with the condemnation of their thoughts and actions. Like other feelings, guilt arises at the subconscious level, beyond our will. Even if a person realizes the harm of this emotion and tries to get rid of guilt, it is quite difficult to cope with this Minotaur, which is devouring from within.
Psychologists say that the feeling of guilt is a certain psychological peculiarity that will always find its food. By making incredible efforts to stop reproaching yourself in a particular situation, after a while you will begin to do it again. Therefore, our task is not to stop blaming ourselves for the perfect offense, but to adjust our subconscious mind so that guilt does not arise for any reason.
Real and imaginary wines
For a start, let’s look into the mechanism of the state of culpability. Few realize that it is not only real but also imaginary. If you feel guilty after a clearly immoral act, it is quite natural. Thus, our conscience makes it clear that this should not have been done.
Without going into the topics of self-improvement, we note that this feeling is quite healthy and justified. It is necessary to get rid of him only after the person repented and made the decision not to repeat what he had done.
At the opposite pole lies the so-called imaginary guilt, which a person feels without having done anything reprehensible. For a proper understanding, we give examples of contrived reasons. A false sense of guilt is experiencing:
- Responsible mother, leaving the child for a while under the supervision of others.
- The survivor of the accident or other accident in relation to the victims.
- A person who did not dare to take the necessary step, to take an important decision at a crucial moment.
This list is endless. Blame yourself without blame is especially true of women. Recall, for example, the words of a popular folk song: “Am I to blame, (repeated three times!) That I love?”. After much deliberation, the sufferer makes an unconditional sentence:
“I’m guilty myself; I’m to blame for everything
Do you want to justify yourself …”
Many psychologists note the feminine nature of this feeling. It has been observed that, compared with men, women blame themselves more easily and more often. The stronger sex is inclined to blame not “one’s beloved,” but unfortunate circumstances. For the same reason, women do not tend to get involved in politics. In their small world, they are responsible for children and loved ones, not blaming it on inflation, crisis, falling stock prices, and other force majeure.
If these situations are close to you, you need to get rid of guilt as quickly as possible. It’s not worth hoping that the unpleasant feeling will “resolve”. This emotion has no statute of limitations. She can gnaw a person for several years, decades, and sometimes the rest of her life. In psychology, a case is described where a person had remorse for a vase broken in childhood 30 years later. Perhaps there is a skeleton of guilt in your closet, secretly carried through the years ?! It is time to get rid of him.
How does the feeling of guilt
In order not to fall on the hook feeling guilty, you need to understand what kind of psycho you are. People who are prone to excessive self-incrimination are distinguished by a particular way of thinking. They are characterized by:
- The tendency to reflexive, constantly rolling thoughts about any problematic situation. Moreover, it is difficult for a person to change the horizon of perception, to make real decisions.
- In internal dialogues, thoughts of altruism, justice, compassion prevail, which, combined with introspection, give rise to a pathological feeling of guilt.
Come from childhood
To find the true cause of the inclination to self-accusation, you do not need to go to a fortuneteller or be a famous psychologist. It is enough to analyze your children’s worldview. If parents blame the children for poor grades, unlearned lessons, and disrespect for elders and other youthful sins, the attitude to the constant feeling of guilt is formed in the subconscious.
A mature child cannot get rid of the addiction to mentally punish himself, because he is programmed to do so from early childhood. Following the parents, the strict educators and teachers, the leaders at work, pick up the baton. As a result, a person is anxious that he constantly does something wrong, makes unpardonable mistakes in life.
Get rid of guilt-Psychological techniques
First, we will remove the fertile ground for the emergence of the desire to blame ourselves for all mortal sins. From theoretical reflections, it’s time to move on to practice.
Stop making excuses
Catch yourself wanting to justify yourself and stop him in any way you can. Quite often, relatives, colleagues and even bosom friends provoke guilt. It is very convenient to blame a loved one, covering their own flaws and flaws.
If you are a victim of defense by an attack, you should not give arguments of your innocence. Try to get rid of the conversation, for example, refer to strong employment or simulate an urgent phone call. During the created pause, analyze why you wanted to justify yourself in what you are not guilty of.
Accept your imperfection
An ideal person is a distant perspective of evolution. Whether it will find a real embodiment in the future is unknown. In the present, all people are imperfect. In the innumerable list of human failings, the tendency to self-incrimination is not the most criminal feeling. Tell yourself: “Yes, I am, but this should not spoil my mood and life in general.”
The roots of feelings of guilt should be sought in the desire to follow a certain perfect ideal preached by morality and religion. The concept of “guilt” and “sin” are close in essence. Remember that much more serious sins from the point of Christianity are despondency and despair.
Accept your imperfection as a given. Of course, you need to get rid of him, but it is impossible to do it by magic. Constant efforts are sure to bear fruit, so just follow the suggested techniques without getting depressed.
Say no to manipulators
Surroundings are very willing to use personal weakness, making it difficult to refuse a sincere request. Gradually, the number of people willing to manipulate a soft and trouble-free person increases, and their demands grow. If a person is not able to meet another request, he has a feeling of guilt. Do not try to be good for everyone.
Learn to firmly deny such “time eaters.” The cause of internal discomfort is not that dishonest people surround you. The point is an initially vulnerable position, which made it possible to control your emotions. Do not neglect your own vital interests for the sake of maintaining the status of “good Samaritan”. It is foolish to suffer for those who, at your expense, satisfy personal needs.
Release the past
A mindset aimed at digging in the past will never bring happiness. The only positive way is striving towards the future. The situation that caused the feeling of dissatisfaction cannot be changed. Of course, if you do not have a personal time machine.
No matter how you blame yourself, the train, as they say, is gone. As soon as once again the thought of guilt comes to you, replace it with reflections that this will not happen again. Slam the door, burn bridges into the past, and tune in to positive change.
Know how to ask for forgiveness.
Only the one who does nothing does not make mistakes and does not suffer losses. We all make mistakes sometimes; the main thing is to be able to draw reasonable lessons. One of them is the need to recognize one’s wrong not only mentally, but also in reality. Find the strength to apologize. This way you close the path to the flow of negative energy, ease karma and get rid of destructive guilt feelings.
It is not always convenient to ask for forgiveness, but those who are not shy about expressing sincere words of repentance open their way to inner harmony and integrity.
This technique works especially well with people with developed imagination.
Enter a state of relaxation, stop the mental flow and imagine yourself in a forest glade on a sunny summer day. You are surrounded by beautiful nature; you hear nightingale trills and feel the fragrance of flowers. Imagine how a powerful stream of light passes through you. Visualize it clearly. The rainbow, iridescent river, takes with it the entire negative, accumulated in your mind, clears and frees from feelings of guilt.
To get rid of obsessive thoughts and achieve relaxation, use the deep breathing technique, focus on ambient sounds, or other practices that are close to you.
Voting positive attitudes should be used in conjunction with previous methods. The main secret of the method is a special psychological state when the mind is not cluttered with unnecessary thoughts. It is best to memorize phrases and repeat them at the moment after waking up or before falling asleep.
When making affirmations, special rules must be observed: the statement must be in the present tense and without negative particles “not”, “no”, etc. That is, instead of “I don’t want to feel guilty” I should say “I get rid of guilt “. Here are some examples of successful affirmations:
- I let go of my guilt.
- My heart is open to positive energies.
- I mentally ask forgiveness from all those who have caused evil.
- I close the path into my heart for guilt.
- My actions in the past were dictated by the level of spiritual development and circumstances.
- I forgive all my mistakes: wrong thoughts, words, and deeds.
- I am aware of the harm done to a loved one.
- Every mistake makes me more experienced and wiser. I learned a useful lesson and rush forward without regret and guilt. With me are universal love and the joy of being.
The complete absence and the desire to get rid of guilt, tend to mentally ill people. Therefore, the emergence of this emotion, if it does not develop into an obsessive idea, is characteristic of a healthy psyche. Sigmund Freud thought it was wrong to struggle with the feeling of guilt. It is much wiser to learn to accept this emotion.