Have you ever tried to eliminate the negative thoughts of your life and see what happens? I propose to try. The way we think greatly influences how we feel and how we act. Therefore, changing our way of thinking can improve our lives in infinite aspects and you must have positive attitudes. Let’s identify how to control negative thoughts.
Change your thoughts, and your world will change. From our interrelation with the world that surrounds us and with ourselves, from our experiences, from education, we have received, etc. We learn to think in a certain way according to which we interpret the world.
The good thing that the way of thinking is a learned behavior is that just as you learn you can unlearn and learn another alternative way that makes us feel better.
How to control negative thoughts?
We all think many times in a biased way. It does not correspond to reality, or we recreate in negative thoughts that the only thing that helps us is to generate negative emotions.
When this happens, it means that the time learns to detect those negative thoughts and try to eliminate them.
Let’s take a few examples to understand each other better:
I just left my partner, and I think that I am the most unfortunate person in the world, that I will never find anyone who loves me like him and that I will end up old and alone surrounded by cats. As you can suppose if I think that way the discomfort and anxiety will take control of my life.
I’m on my way to a job interview and all kinds of thoughts flow through my head: you’ll see how they do not catch me either, I’m going to notice that I have no experience, I will get red like a tomato, and I’m not going to know how to answer … Can you imagine how my execution would be in that interview, right?
But … What would happen if I change my way of thinking?
I just left my partner, I’m hurt by the situation, but I start to think that he is not the only man in the world, that it is good for me to be alone and to know myself and that I will surely find another person — end to me. The most likely is that even thinking this is still wrong if the break is recent, but I’m sure I feel much better than in the previous example.
I’m on my way to a job interview, and on the way, I’m happy to have a chance to start and thinking how well I’m going to answer the questions. No one assures me that I will still be selected, but I am sure that I do it significantly better than in the previous job.
We have seen these examples we can say that what we think about events largely determines that we feel certain things and act in certain ways.
So why do we allow ourselves to have so many negative thoughts? Why do we give thousands of laps to the same issues without reaching any productive conclusion?
Maybe because nobody has taught us, the importance of thoughts in our lives or how to control them.
3 techniques to eliminate negative thoughts
I will explain 3 strategies so that from today it is you who take control of your thoughts and not them who take control over you.
I recommend you try the five and stay with the one that best fits you, or why not, combine them?
1. Cognitive restructuring
Thoughts are only thoughts and do not necessarily have to correspond with reality. Therefore, if there is something that is making you feel bad, it is worth the trouble to dedicate some time to submit it to debate.
Once detected what your negative thoughts are, I recommend you pass them through three filters.
The first thing that you have to ask yourself is if what you are thinking is true or has some kind of evidence. Making an analysis of this question by itself already discards a large part of our negative thoughts.
Consider that what you are thinking is just a hypothesis and that you need to look for facts that corroborate it.
The everyday thought of “It always happens the same: just when I get there, the bus is leaving ” can be quickly contrasted using common sense or recording if this is the case every day. It is absurd to think the driver is dedicated to waiting for me to arrive at the start. Thinking about it rages me instead of simple annoyance if I modify it because “sometimes I get to the bus on time, and sometimes I do not, of which sometimes it’s a lot and another for seconds.”
Another thought more devastating and profound as ” Nobody has ever loved me” if I inquire I will realize that it is an inaccurate exaggeration, probably because of a personal bad moment that I am going through, but that there is at least one person (and probably more) than He loves me or that at other times in my life I have felt very loved.that I am going through, but that there is at least one person (and probably more) than He loves me or that at other times in my life I have felt very loved. Otherwise, I would not even know the value of what it is to love, and I would not be having a bad time.
Analyze the filter of the evidence very well before moving on to it since we often take for obvious things that are not even remotely clear. But if really, without regard to the answers, we conclude that what I think makes me feel bad is obvious I must ask myself something else.
Is it as serious as I think?
That is to say that the thought was certain we will do questions directed to evaluate the magnitude of the consequences:
- Would the consequences be so horrible?
- What would happen if …)
- How many areas of my life would it affect?
- Could I be fine even when this is the case?
- Are there other people to whom it has happened and how have they lived it?
- Does it have any positive consequences?
- Would it be an unpleasant or insurmountable circumstance?
- Would it affect me during a period (one month, two months, one year) or throughout my life?
- Could more serious things happen to me? Which?
And in the case that the thought passes the two previous filters. It is to say that it is true and serious (For example some serious illness) I propose the following questions:
- What consequences does it have for me to think like that?
- Does it help me solve my problems?
- Does it make me feel good?
- Does it help me to spin around unproductively?
- Does it help me go around and around?
2. Stop thinking more
As its name suggests, this technique is a useful strategy to learn to cut the thoughts that cause us discomfort.
Imagine you are worrying about something, suddenly you hear a noise Scratch!!!!! You turn your head and Oh, no, the vase with the ashes of the grandfather has fallen, and it is on the ground shattered!. You get up running, pick up the ashes and spend a good time trying to hit the small pieces of vase until you rebuild it and put the ashes back inside.
I imagine you’ve stopped thinking about what worries you, right?
Replicating this procedure and have someone throwing objects around us every time we do not notice thoughtful I do not think it was highly recommended so we will have to use another procedure that achieves the same goal and get us to stop being burdened by a thousand and one things, and that we consume most of our time ruminating about problems without advancing in the constructive solution of them.
Being able to realize when those thoughts appear. So do not start applying this technique until you have detected the thoughts that you have to stop. It is better to take a week to start working than to do things badly and not be effective.
Find a cutting stimulus powerful enough to cut off the flow of thoughts. It may be to shout the word “stop” or “to” if you are alone, put a rubber band on your wrist and pull it, stick a pinch, imagine a stop sign or any other you can think of and be useful.
Think or say a self-instruction. When we speak of self-instruction, we refer to instructions that we give ourselves. We can say things like “Thinking about this does not help me” “I can” “I’m going to get it” or the adaptive thought that we have concluded if we have used the restructuring technique.
The self-instruction will depend on the person and the case, so it is worth spending a while on developing one that fits well with us.
If the problem is that you can not concentrate on something you are doing because of the intrusive thoughts, then say “I’ll developing hat I was” “I’m going to finish my homework”.
If you are about to make a presentation in public and negative thoughts invade you, you can use “Thinking about this does not help me” “I’ll get it”
If you do not stop thinking about the possible infidelity of your partner and have already used the restructuring technique, you can say something like “I have no evidence to think that cheats, so spinning is absurd”
If your problem is that you are worried about what they will think of you a good self-instruction serious “What others think does not have to matter to me”
It is important not to confuse the cutting stimulus with self-instruction. The function of the cutting stimulus is to divert attention from that negative thought and that of self-instruction is to focus attention on something else.
3. Distractive task
Do a task that involves you fix your attention on her and stop you from thinking. The function of this task is that once the negative thought is cut, it will not reappear instantly.
It can be reading something that interests you, singing a song aloud, calling someone (to talk about something positive and different from the problem), start making a puzzle. Anything that stops you from thinking, if you set out to make a puzzle or to run but you keep thinking about the subject, it’s worthless. It has to be something that implies concentration.
If you do not find any task that involves enough concentration, try counting 3 in 3 from 100 to 0 or doing mathematical operations. Go testing until you find they find a task that involves enough concentration. Try counting 3 in 3 from 100 to 0 or doing mathematical operations. Go testing until you find the task that best goes with you.
Kill negative thoughts
It consists in giving shape to that negative thought (For example, imagine it as a demon), generating a positive contradictory thought (For example, if I am thinking that I will not be able to do something, the positive contradictory thought would be that if I am going to achieve it), I will also shape that positive thinking (For example, angel form) and visualize how positive thinking eliminates the negative (We can imagine opening the door and the negative leaving, hitting a kick and sending the moon or stabbing him, etc. What is most useful to us ).
This strategy is very useful for memories (a positive memory eliminates a negative one) intrusive images or thoughts. Remember that after applying it, start a distracting task that prevents the thought from returning to your mind again.
And now you know how to do it? What excuses do you have to continue allowing negative thoughts to enter your life? You know how to do it? What excuses do you have to continue allowing negative thoughts to enter your life?