The problems related to anger are a frequent reason for consulting professionals in psychology.
There are even therapists who are specialized only in the control of anger and aggressiveness. A fact that tells us that it is something that affects many people. How to control anger? This is precisely what patients ask since it is often difficult to handle the aggressive tendency or get angry without outside help.
Today we treat the problem of anger and aggression, and we present some tips on how to control anger.
Anger is an emotion that is characterized by a rapid increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and norepinephrine and adrenaline levels in the blood. It is also common for the person who feels anger to redden, sweat, tense their muscles, breathe more quickly and see their bodily energy increased.
Being an emotion related to the aggressive impulse. Some experts point out that anger is the manifestation of the response that our brain emits to attack or flee from danger. On the other hand, the mental state proper to moments of anger makes us instinctive and diminishes our ability to reason.
Anger can arise as a result of a state of insecurity, envy, fear, etc. Anger can also appear when we are unable to cope with a specific situation, being hurt or bothered by the way people around us act.
In short, anger or aggressiveness often appears in situations that we perceive as a threat. Therefore, anger is based on feelings such as fear, fear, frustration or even fatigue.
When we feel frustrated with something, we can react in several ways. For the case at hand, one of the possible reactions to frustration is anger. Aggression, on the other hand, is the outward manifestation of the anger we feel.
The anger appears automatically in some situations that hinder us to achieve goals or objectives. The emotions we feel do not occur without reason, but each one has a specific function. In the case of anger, the brain causes this state to prepare us to make a superior effort to overcome the difficulty that has been presented to us.
Anger has different facets and takes different forms:
Aggressive behavior and violence can appear as a way to achieve different objectives when we have not been able to achieve them without using violence. In this case, we could talk about an instrumental anger, because we use it as a means to obtain something. The therapists associate this behavior with poor communication skills or self-control. But it will always be possible to improve these aspects.
Anger may appear as an explosion, because of having endured an unfair or disturbing situation for a long time. Thus, the small daily frustrations are accumulated and, based on not expressing our discomfort, we end up bursting at one time or another. The solution to this type of vicious circles is to adequately manage anger, and not accumulate it until it explodes.
Anger as a defense arises when we perceive that we are being attacked or face a difficulty. Normally, we tend to react negatively more by intuition than by objective facts, which can lead to our anger being objectively justified.
Becoming aware of the causes that lead us to a state of anger is a great step to move towards the good management of our anger. Learning to control anger involves learning to rationalize some irrational emotions. And impulses and relativize the reactions produced by some events in life.
Otherwise, aggressiveness and anger can lead to a permanent state of alert that can generate bad personal experiences. Therefore, one of the key factors in the management of anger is self-control, but it is also worth highlighting the following dynamics in order to develop anger prevention:
When something unfair happens and we do not react, we accumulate anger and anger. Sooner or later, all this anger that we are going to save will explode and can lead to an episode of verbal and/or physical violence. Therefore, it is important to face the problems with assertiveness and control. So as not to let the ball of anger grow at times.
Avoid the winner/loser mentality
On many occasions, we get angry in reaction to the frustration of not having achieved some goals that we set ourselves, or when something has not gone as we expected. In these cases, empathy is the distinguishing feature among those who know how to manage frustration, control anger and accept setbacks with sportsmanship. We must avoid posing interpersonal relationships as a game in which you win or lose.
Reflect on the causes and consequences of our irascibility
Thinking about it and analyzing if our emotional reaction is really justified can help us. Many times we do not think why we burst into a fit of anger. For example when we drive a car and react instantly by insulting or gesturing to other drivers when they do something wrong.
At that time it would be vital to meditate on why we reacted in this way: have you thought about the possible consequences of having an episode of anger while you are driving? Seen like that, maybe it’s worth taking these situations differently.
When we are physically or mentally depleted, our anger reactions and aggressive impulses are more frequent. And we have fewer tools to manage them. For this reason, it is necessary to rest and sleep the necessary hours: both quantitatively and qualitatively.
In addition, there are several times of the day when we are more vulnerable to bursting with anger. And that varies from one person to another. We are able to control anger when we are rested because we can better analyze situations.
Relaxation is the best way to prevent attacks of anger. There are different ways of relaxing: practicing sports, yoga, meditation, Mindfulness, taking a bath of hot water. Or any method that happens to distract the mind and lead to a state of positivist.
In fact, at specific times when we detect that we may have an angry reaction. It is a good idea to try to breathe deeply and slowly for at least twenty seconds. This will cause our body to detoxify from the negativity and irascibility that we feel.
Avoid irritating situations and people
We must avoid finding ourselves in situations in which we know that they can increase our anger or lead us to a negative state. It is also likely that you know certain people who irritate you especially (the dreaded toxic people ).
As far as possible, we must try to avoid the contexts in which we know we can explode. And as for the people who irritate us. Sometimes it will be impossible to have no contact (bosses, a relative in particular). Therefore As far as possible, we should try to talk with that person so that the interactions are not so irritating.
The help of a professional and accredited psychotherapist can help decisively to manage this type of emotional reactions. Especially when a point has arrived at which the aggressive behaviors derived from a bad control of the anger are frequent.
Psychological therapy for these cases is aimed at modifying attitudes that generate situations of anger. And allow to achieve a cognitive restructuring so that the patient can manage and control their anger. Some emotional control techniques are also used to control anger and thus manage aggressiveness.